that’s all I want.
what was the last book you read that moved you/made you feel, or simply a book you just couldn’t put down?
every time my roommate’s students see me they ask her if she’s sure that I am not saudi. they are convinced I am saudi. :’(
and they think I act like I don’t know arabic.
me on yo man
me giving it to yo man
"Ohh, yo bitch juss walked in!!"
Me giving it to him, not giving a fuck. Lookin’ all in yo eyes. Shimmy, bitch. Deal, bitch.
you will have a woman who likes to cook and feed (in more ways than one). bring your appetite (and stamina) everyday after work. i just want to have a hot meal ready everyday for you…on the dinner table and between my legs.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
Number 8 & 9 will forever be my favorites.
things I am thankful for here //
* my roommate for dealing with my ocd and asthma
* the guards who carry my big water and groceries
* my homegirls (roommate and neighbor)
the one thing I really really love about my students is that they really really respectful. like the love to talk so once in a blue moon I get really upset because they won’t shut up. and they feel so bad like they refuse to let me leave without smiling or being happy. everything thru do is with good intentions. they genuinely love their teachers and some (like me :)) they get really attached too. my babies fa’real. last 3 weeks with them :’(